After the last Overtime: Lessons Learned from my Father
“Abba ba! Abba ba! (Father is coming! -in Hebrew). It seems like just yesterday. Peeking over our couch, I can vividly recall announcing that dad’s car was approaching our house in Terre Haute. Like all 2 year olds, I was so excited to see my dad. This is my very first memory as a toddler. My entire world revolved around my parents and newly born sister. But, there was a special relationship developing between my father and me. After dinner, we would watch a sporting event on a black and white television. Over the next few years, as I began to understand basketball, football and tennis, our bond grew. During football season, we cheered for the Purdue Boilermakers. In January of 1967, we were invited to watch Purdue’s Rose Bowl game vs. USC on a color television at a friend’s house. Despite the bad loss at the hands of the Trojans, my father thought that he had landed on the moon. Two years later, at my dad’s side, I watched with amazement how Rick Mount nearly single handedly won a NCAA title. I was hooked! I loved sports and loved watching sports with my father.
As I began to participate in sports, my father was my biggest fan. When he was not working and was able to attend a game, he was always cheering for me to excel. Whether I was playing guard for the United Hebrew Congregation (see picture) and trying to emulate Rick Mount or giving me my first tennis lesson at the age of 9 at Rea Park, he was encouraging me to have fun. Insisting that tennis was a sissy sport, I put down my tennis racket and played Little League baseball instead. Hoping to become the next Johnny Bench, at the age of 13, I was heartbroken to not make a Babe Ruth team. With no hesitation, my father suggested that I dust off that racket and so I did. I never looked back.
As I recall the above childhood memories (and others), I realize that this Sunday, June 19th will not be like any other Father’s Day. On October 19th, 2021, at the age of 95 (in his “7th overtime”), my dad, Mickey (Michael) Kor passed away in Lebanon, Indiana (ironically the home of Rick Mount). True to form, hours before he passed away, we watched a sporting event together in his hospital room. But, sadly, “his game” ended before that 8th overtime. As we “celebrate” Father’s Day, I feel an intense obligation to honor and remember my dad on this, the first Father’s Day without him. Although I’d like to be able to effectively pen my thoughts into an eloquent and polished manuscript, I struggle with the pain and sadness that have numbed my mind. Nonetheless, I continue to think about the love that I had for my dad and the unconditional love that he demonstrated to me.
Rather than dwell in self-pity, I know that I am very lucky person. Unlike many, I had two loving parents who cared and provided for me. Although it may be cliché, we all know that sport is a metaphor for life. Therefore, my classroom, at times, was the court and the field. That is, via sports and daily living, my father provided me many life lessons.
#1. Sense of humor: One of my father’s unique qualities was his sense of humor. He loved to tell jokes and this was one of his favorites. When he worked as a pharmacist in Japan during the Korean War, a GI was skipping down the hall. My father said, “Sir, why are you skipping? “ The GI answered, “Sir, my doctor told me to take one a day and then skip a day”.
#2. Hard working and conscientious: As a pharmacist, my father’s work ethic was second to none. Beyond always thoroughly explaining instructions to a patient, I was made aware that he once met a customer at the drug store when it was closed to get a prescription issue resolved.
#3. Love for country and respect for our armed services: Because he was liberated near the Buchenwald concentration camp at the end of WW 2 by American and Terre Haute native Ltn Col. Nehf, he ultimately served in the Korean War as a proud US Army Pharmacist. As a child, I always remember my dad proudly displayed the American flag on holidays.
#4. Passion for music: Although never having formal training in playing the piano, my dad, for years, played the piano as if he were Beethoven. In addition, he had a particular interest in hearing Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra sing. I will always remember my father accompanying these 2 greats in later years.
#5. Perseverance: Until my father’s last 7 years of his life, his health was unremarkable. Unfortunately, from 2015 on, he was not so lucky. Between cancer, dementia, blood clots, pneumonia, multiple urinary tract infections, and C Difficile infection from antibiotics, he never lost his enthusiasm for life. Once while riding a stationary bike, he turned to me and said: “Alex, I feel so good. I think I can live forever!”
#6. Love for writing: My father had a particular aptitude for writing. Whether it was the incredible essay that he wrote after liberation from the concentration camps after WW 2 or promoting the latest victory of his beloved Purdue Boilermakers, he was always very proud to display his efforts. Obviously, I have inherited this same passion.
#7. Love for family: My father cherished my mother and our family. He always gave of himself for others. Referring to my mother, he once said that, “I would run into a burning building to save her!” I can only hope that I will still have such a life experience.
#8. Being kind, humble and polite: As many know, my father preferred a “low key” persona. My father had no ego, and always emphasized to my sister and me to be thankful and appreciative for all of life’s good fortune. In addition, in interacting with people, he taught how to shake a hand, and to always look someone in the eye. All in all, at a young age, he taught me basic life skills.
These attributes, qualities and lessons are ingrained in my soul, and I thank my dad every day for these gifts. In fact, if I could talk to my father one last time, I would say, “Dad, I love you so much! I miss you so much! I promise that I will tell your story, and I hope that you are proud of me… and one more thing, Boiler Up!” So, in closing, I ask that you do the following in my father’s memory on June 19th: For the father in your life, please give him a big hug, and always welcome him at home by saying “Abba Ba”! And, I, on this Father’s Day will honor my dad by playing tennis, a game that we both loved and that I have played ever since I got rid of those cob-webs.